WHAT AM I ???

Very upset, mad & angry!!!

He went to a wake for the past 2 nights. Tonight, he will be a driver. Why? Whenever she asked him to do anything, he'll obliged. But whenever I asked him for something, refusal is his reply for 90% of the time.

What am I? Where am I in his list of priority? I am always the LAST priority!!!

Even simple stuff like going to the supermarket with me on weekdays is a chore to him. I have to be the one who always do all the grocery, by myself, lugging with me bags of food home. And he, just eat it happily. No physical help from him, no financial help as well. I am WORST than a maid!!! The maid don't even need to pay for anything!!!

Why am I paying, cleaning, doing everything for the family? And he just gets to enjoy all these, and not even appreciative!!! And abusing me verbally & physically!!! One day, I will end all these sufferings!

I have been making mistake after mistake in my relationship. But I can't just quit for this one. But many times, I thought of living by myself again. Why am I supporting the family? Everything from salt to rice to diapers is from my own pocket.

Why do I have to work so hard? And he just takes everything for granted!!!

Sometimes, I thought of leaving with Sheyenne. I think we might be happier by ourselves. So the dad can't use rubberband to abuse her. What a brilliant idea his mom has suggested!!! RUBBERBANDS !!!

I really feel like returning him to his mom. I feel like an outsider. Never feel I am HIS family. NEVER !!!

Sheyenne OHM

My little princess has been rejecting her Chinese name recently. Insist that she is Sheyenne, not baby, no JingRu. And she like to emphasize her family name. But instead of pronouncing it as Ong, she will pronounce as Ohm. So she is Sheyenne Ohm.

We laugh at that. Cute, isn't it.

She is also a rather stubborn girl. When she wants to do something such as keeping her toys, if you keep them for her. She will take it out, and put it back. She is also rather particular. If things are not place in the same location as what she wanted. She will insist you place it in the position that she wants.

This little one, makes me happy, makes me mad.

Less $

NICC is not going to provide grant for ICND anymore... that means less people will enroll for this course... which means I will have less classes to teach... boohoo :'(

I really need to go for more certifications to upgrade myself. But it's really so tough. I think my IQ is probably only 70.

Not that I am trying to find excuses. But usually, after picking up Sheyenne, and dinner at mil's, I will only reach home about 8pm. Then I have to either 1) wash clothes, 2) fold & pack clothes, 3) prepare Sheyenne's bag for the next day, 4) bath her if hubby is lazy. Then it's almost 9pm. The next task will be making milk & feeding Sheyenne, or cutting fruits for whole family. Then it's about 10pm. Time to send the kiddo to bed. Which... may take another 30/60 minutes... depends on kiddo's mood.

And what can I do after 11pm? Entertain hubby... and so so so exhausted.

What have I done for myself? Nothing! Even cleansing & mosituring my face seems to be a chore.

I wish working hours are shorter. Imagine, one only has about 3 hours at home for a day, not counting sleeping time. But spending so much money for the house. Not to mention almost 45% of the monthly housing installment is for the interest!!! OMG!! I still have 25 years to pay up!!!

Either 1) Get a full-time job, 2) Strike lottery, 3) Downgrade.

I don't want to choose number 1 & 3 ....

Wendy sends this joke, and I like it very much!!!

It is a myth that when a son gets married and a new daughter in law arrives in the family, everything changes. Some daughters in law are well trained and well mannered!!!!!. They don't come to change the family, they are there to............ The new wife (progressive Indian woman of today) was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech: My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family", she said "Firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine. No, I will never do that, never in a million years". "What do you mean my child?" Asked the father in law. "What I mean dad is (looking at her father in law): Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cooked shouldn't stop at my account, and Those who used to Clean should continue cleaning". "Then what are you here for?" Asked the mother in law. "As for me, my job is to entertain your son!

Sleeping on the MRT

On my way home yesterday, I saw this sleepy fellow on the MRT... this is one of the least welcomed behaviour.

Besides this, the following is just testing my tolerance level:
1) Sleeping & nodding away happily towards you.
2) Leaning against you when you are neither the spouse or the lover.
3) Snatch the seat from you when you are almost sitting down.
4) Breath on your face, your arms, your shoulder, anywhere on you.
5) Has a bad breath but keep yakking away.
6) Size is bigger than the small little seat, so the extras overflow to you.
7) Pretending to sleep the moment an old lady/man, or a pregnant lady walks in.
8) He thought his balls are so big that his leg has to lean close to you.Many more.. i guess i am not a nice person to please!

Freedom !!!

Hubby's gone for reservist for the past few days. How do I feel? FREEDOM! Yell it like M-whatever Gibson in that I-forgot-the-name-of-the-movie. *update* Braveheart!

While he is away, I am going to custom make some furniture at home. I hope he will not scream at me when he return... *scared scared*

Went to watch the movie 'I Not Stupid 2' last friday. Some plots in the movie is very real, like something that will happen to most of us in our lifetime. Such as, we always forgot to be more encouraging towards our kids... or even family members... Most of us, will pass negative remarks, instead of being more positive... :-(

Last night I cut 2 pears & a peach. Went away for a while & left the fruits with hubby. When I appear in 5 mins time, what's left is only 1/4 peach & 3/4 pear. I ask hubby, so that's 1/4 peach is for me & sheyenne? And you took 3/4 of it!?! He apologised & said he feels bad... I dunno if he really feel that way... But somehow, I find that, he has taken me for granted... in many ways...

He's a rather lucky man. A man that doesn't have to worry much about household expenses, which can cost a bomb.

Well, I just wish that he won't yell at me for making 2 cupboards. He always tell me to stop my buying. But... when a kid is growing up, they need different things... Now is year 2006, not 1976.

Anyway, I got sick of he and his mom's comments on me all the time. My ma in law likes to accuse me of buying toys for Sheyenne. But, the fact is, most of the toys is bought by friends. E.g., the cooking set & train is bought by MeiQing, the pianos are bought by Monica, the drawing board is by Julie, etc. I didn't really buy all the toys for her, but I don't think I need to inform her whenever someone buy/pass me a toy!

On top of all these, whenever I wore the same shirt as Sheyenne (seen on the left), my ma in law will pass a remark & commented in hokkien that I am 'hiao'! Which means vain. But I am already someone who is hardly vain. I don't even wear makeup except a lipstick if I am working. I have never even dye/highlight my hair. I didn't even wear nail colour all the time... and I am usually in simple clothes... I don't know what is HER definition of vain. But I get very offended by that remark. Irritated!!! What's wrong with me wearing the same clothes as my daughter!!! She can jolly well do the same if she wants to!!! ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY !!!

Chinese New Year is over!

Yesterday was the 15th day of Chinese New Year.

The older I get, the less enthusiatic I am about CNY.

When we were younger, we get excited for habing new clothes and 'angpow' for CNY. When you grow older, you can buy new clothes anytime, even everyday! And if you are single, the number 1 question you get is "When are you getting married?". If you are married, the number 1 question is "When are you having a baby?" If you are married and have kids, the question will be rephrased to "When are you having another baby?"

It's boring, isn't it. You can predict what people is going to ask you.

So I don't really enjoy CNY.

Beginning of Feb, I send sweetie pie to child care. Because I don't think my mom places my girl as her priority. Whenever my bro/sil goes abroad, she will leap to their house to take care of the 2 younger ones. They have a maid who's with them for 5 years, and the kids are 10 & 9 years old. Mine is only 2 years old, and without a maid. How am I suppose to take care of the young one if I need to work & nobody is at home????

After much consideration, we decided to send her to child care. My hubby is not too happy about this ONLY choice. But looking at the positive side, I do enjoy the peace I used to have before my mom moves in with me.

She is obviously practising favourtism, which she denies it.

Anyway, I am happier because that the house is less messy (cause the things are the way we left them when we go to work), the kitchen is less greasy (cause no one is cooking), and the house is more peaceful (minus the nagging of my mom's!)

My husband should be happier too, he can watch his scoccer. No one is fighting to watch TV anymore. Previously, my dad just sit in front of the TV, tuning to channel 54/52/50 all day long.

Whatever happen these few months really showed the true colours of many people. At least I get to see the true colours of 4 of them. One is my mom.

What I learn is : You have only yourself to depend on. Can't rely on anyone.

I just don't know why my mom is not the normal mom that most people have.

When I had a baby in 2003, she came to my house only once (in the period of the 10 months after I had my baby). Although I was the only one looking after baby right after my delivery, she never offered to help. I have no confinement lady, no maid, no in law to help. I have to do everything myself. From bathing the baby, washing the clothes, boiling 'longan' water, even washing the bathroom...

Well, all that just makes me a stronger person and realised that my mom is always not there for me. :(

Short Short Sweetie Pie

My sweetie pie is 26.5 months now. But her height is only 77cm, that's not tall. She has a cousin who is only 13.5 months now, and is almost as tall as she is.

Everyone has been commenting about how short she is, and how tall the cousin is. Even her own daddy calls her shortie... If she continue to grow 'slowly'... you will find her in the first row in the classroom when she starts going to school. She will probably feel very hurt too... about her height. And I cannot do anything about it !!!

Anyway, very upset over a stupid & dumb travel agent at Safe2Travel. Felt like going up to her and give her a good tight slap. Will talk about it another day, or else... it will ruin my day again! Bloody Hell!!!

Then I will think of my December trip to the USA :-)